The Infant Terrible!
by L1701E
Summary: Chapter 7 up! Two members of the Misfits join forces with the Fantastic Four to tackle an unusual alien! Next: Fun with the gangsters! Read and Review please!
1. Chapter 1

**The Infant Terrible**

**Author's Note: Hey there, folks! L1701E here! And I am back with a new Misfitverse tale, inspired by a classic comic: particularly _Fantastic Four_ (Vol. 1) #24 by Marvel's first superteam: Stan Lee and Jack Kirby! Two of the Misfits team up with the First Family of Marvel to take on an alien with the power to warp reality itself! I hope you like it!**

**Disclaimer: The FF and the Enfant Terrible belong to Marvel Comics.**

Chapter 1: Welcome to New York!

**The Baxter Building, New York City**

"You two are completely out of your minds, you know that?" A blonde woman frowned, crossing her arms. She was wearing a blue bodysuit with a famous emblem on it: A blue '4' in a blue-bordered white circle. She was Susan Storm, the Invisible Woman, a member of the first superhero team of the modern age: The Fantastic Four. Caught in a cosmic ray storm during an experimental rocket flight, Sue gained the powers of invisibility and forcefield generation. She was staring at two of her teammates in the Fantastic Four.

"Don't worry about it, Suze." A man made of orange rocks dressed in a pair of blue wrestling-style tights and white boots laughed. He was Benjamin Grimm, the super-strong rock-skinned powerhouse known as the Thing. "I won't be too hard on the matchhead."

"Bring it on, rockhead! You don't scare me!" A cocky blonde teenager grinned. He was Johnny Storm, the Human Torch. His powers were obvious: the ability to sheathe himself in flame, pyrokinesis, and flight. He was the youngest of the Fantastic Four, and Susan's brother. "I'm gonna get you back, man! I'm gonna get you back for that time you told the news about that time I tried to get Crystal back!" Ben burst out laughing. *

"Yeah, that was funny. Too bad nobody filmed it, it'd be on the next tape: The Best of Johnny Storm, Vol. 35."

"I'm gonna kick your head in, you stone-faced-!"

"Boys!" Sue snapped. She then presented them with a pair of large bowls filled with burgers. "You two do realize that if you get indigestion, then you'll have to get the Pepto-Bismol yourselves."

"We are aware of the risks, sis." Johnny grinned. "You'll see, Grimm. I'll prove you wrong."

"Yer lucky I promised Suzie I'd take it easy on ya, flamebrain." Ben smirked. Johnny scowled.

"Yeah right. Sue, turn the timer!"

"Alright." Sue sighed, turning a little timer that looked like a chicken. "You two have twenty minutes. Whoever eats the most burgers is the winner." She placed the timer on the table and let go. "And begin!" Johnny and Ben started scarfing down the burgers. Sue just watched with a sigh.

_Hard to believe we beat Galactus..._

**Elsewhere in New York City**

"Two hot dogs! There ya go!" The vendor whooped, handing a pair of hot dogs with various condiments on them to a teenage girl with long black hair that was streaked with blue. Dangling from her ears were a pair of triangular earrings made from Chinese coins. She was dressed in a blue t-shirt with a black leather jacket and blue jeans.

"Thank you." Althea Delgado smiled. The leader of the Misfits and eldest daughter of the GI Joe member Shipwreck, Althea was codenamed Wavedancer for her power to manipulate water. She also had gills on her neck that allowed her to breathe when she was in water. She walked towards a park bench, where a boy was waiting for her.

"Got the dogs, yo?" The boy, a blond with a ponytail, yellow eyes, and a frog-like appearance smiled. He was Todd Tolensky, the Toad, and Althea's boyfriend. The Toad got his codename from his leaping powers, ability to spit slime and acid, long prehensile tongue, and his frog-like appearance. Like Althea, he was a Misfit. One of the originals, in fact. The two young mutants had decided to enjoy a day out in the city.

"Yup." Althea grinned, handing Todd a hot dog and taking a seat next to him on the bench. "Look at that skyline, Toddles. Isn't it beautiful?"

"Yeah." Todd nodded in agreement. "It's nice." The frog-like young mutant then smiled. "I never got to see the city like this before, yo. It's amazing."

"Yeah." Althea concurred. "You gotta love it. So much neat stuff to see."

"I just wish it wasn't so expensive, yo." Todd shook his head. He then shrugged. "Ah, well. Nobody's perfect." A ringing was heard.

"Mine." Althea pulled out a blue cell phone from her purse, noting the number on the screen. "Hey, Dad."

"_Hey there, Althea!_" Shipwreck was heard greeting on the other end. "_How're things in the big city?_"

"Great, Pop." Althea nodded. "You oughta come see it. New York is beautiful!"

"_Glad you're enjoying it so far, sweetie._" Shipwreck answered. "_Glad you called in._"

"I _can_ remember to call in every so often." Althea rolled her eyes. "Just please don't call me for bail money again. We don't need another incident like that one at the amusement park in Texas." Todd groaned.

"I never thought I'd feel sorry for those mimes, yo." The amphibious mutant shook his head. "Those bulls throwing them around was rough to watch. But it was funny when they crashed into that FoH meeting." Althea suppressed a laugh.

"_Hey, that was not my fault. You can blame the Wallace Family for that. Hank, Warren, Tony, and Zandar Wallace._" Shipwreck countered.

"Sure, Pop." Althea rolled her eyes again. "It's the Scotsmen's fault."

"Has Rahne ever seen the Wallaces?" Todd realized.

"No." Althea whispered. "And we're hoping she never does."

**West Coast Misfit Manor, Malibu, California**

"Nothing on..." Rahne Sinclair sighed as she flipped through channels. "Hey, the news."

"_And in national news, Prime Minister David Cameron was chased down the streets of London by what appeared to be a group of intoxicated American tourists who appeared to be dressed as Scottish Highland warriors."_ The newscaster announced.

"What?" Rahne blinked.

"_WE DEMAND OUR FREEDOM!"_ The Beast screamed as he chased the Prime Minister, waving his claymore. Rahne's jaw dropped.

"Oh, my God..." She groaned in embarrassment.

**New York City**

Todd watched the skyline in awe as Althea finished up her conversation with Shipwreck.

"Okay, Pop. We'll keep that in mind. We'll call again later. Bye!" Althea smiled and closed her phone. "So, what do you want to do now?"

"I dunno." Todd shrugged. "So much to do, yo. Do we go to that art museum, or see that famous building." Althea looked at her guidebook. A grin crossed the young hydrokinetic's face.

"Hey, let's go check out the Baxter Building." Althea suggested. Todd blinked.

"The Baxter Building? You mean, the Fantastic Four's HQ?" Althea nodded at Todd's question.

"Yeah! Maybe we could see the Fantastic Four in action!"

"They're big time celebrities, Al! Not to mention self-proclaimed 'imaginauts'! They'll probably be too busy exploring some other dimension or studying aliens to be meeting fans." Todd rolled his eyes, finishing off his hot dog.

"Come on, Toddles!" Althea grinned as she got up from the bench. "Even if we don't meet the FF, we can at least see the building they work at! And the UN building is right near it!"

"Alright, alright..." Todd chuckled. "Let's go see the Baxter Building." 

"Hey, maybe we'll get to see the Thing." Althea suggested as she linked her arm with Todd's. The two mutants then walked in the direction in the Baxter Building.

**An alley in New York City**

_FWASH!_

A flash of light erupted briefly, leaving in its place a pudgy humanoid alien being, dressed in strange purple tunic-garb. Its eyes, a darker green than its skin, were multi-faceted, much like an insect's. It had no visible nose, and a large mouth. The creature's hands had two flat fingers and a thumb each. Its bald head were topped by a pair of antennae resembling horns, and it's feet almost resembled plungers. The alien let out a noise much out like a whimper, and then it started to wander into the wild steel-and-concrete yonder that was New York City...

_**Well, well, well! Looks like some craziness is going to hit NYC! What insanity will happen next? What is the alien creature? Will our two Misfits and the Fantastic Four get along? Will anyone get drunk? Will Ben and Johnny get very bad indigestion? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!**_

*** - See Persiana13's fic "Hearts on Fire"**


	2. Comin' In!

**The Infant Terrible!**

**Disclaimer: Althea Delgado belongs to Red Witch. And here's your quote: "Why don't you call me some time when you got no class?" - Rodney Dangerfield as Thornton Melon, _Back to School_ (Just got this film on DVD! Highly recommended!)**

Chapter 2: Comin' In!

**The Xavier Institute**

"_You pancaked my van! I'm gonna kill you, fool!_"

"Heh heh heh." Jamie Madrox chuckled as he watched the _A-Team_ film. He was sitting on a couch, a tub of popcorn in his lap, and a drink in his hand. "This is an awesome film. I dunno why the critics bashed this film. It's hilarious." The young clone-maker chowed down on some popcorn, when he heard faint screaming.

"Hi, Jamie." Scott greeted with a smile as he walked in.

"Hey, Scott."

"What're you watching?" Scott blinked at the TV screen.

"The _A-Team_ film." Jamie grinned.

"Oh, mind if I watch it with you? I have been wanting to see that movie." Scott grinned.

"Sure." Jamie nodded. The optic blaster took a seat next to Jamie. "Popcorn?"

"Thank you." Scott scooped some popcorn up and he took a bite. Screaming was heard again, this time louder. "You hear that?"

"Yeah, what is that?" The clone-maker blinked. The ground started to rumble. "What the..." The two turned their heads...and their eyes widened.

"YAHHH!" A very large ball of yarn rolled by the couch. The limbs and heads of a screaming Sam, Bobby, Ray and Roberto could be seen protruding from the ball as it rolled by.

"What the-?" Scott and Jamie blinked.

"Hang on, guys!" Tabitha yelled as she, Amara, and Paige ran by, all three girls carrying rather large pairs of knitting needles. "We'll get you out of there!" Scott and Jamie were left just sitting there watching the chase in disbelief.

"Do I want to know?" Jamie looked at Scott.

"As the leader of the X-Men, I think it's best if we just don't ask any questions, don't think about it, and try to forget it ever happened."

"Good point." Jamie nodded in agreement. The two young mutants turned back to the movie. "Oh, this part's hilarious!"

**The Baxter Building**

"Wow..." Althea Delgado's eyes widened as she and Todd Tolensky took in the front lobby of the Baxter Building. Built in 1949 by the Baxter Paper Company, the 35-story building was originally created to accommodate pulp recycling machinery (explaining the floors' heights). The building was owned by the Fantastic Four, who used the top five floors as their home and headquarters, while tenants were allowed to use the other floors. The ground floor of the building, which was known informally as "Four Freedoms Plaza", was used as a Fantastic Four museum and gift shop. "Toddles, take in this place."

"Yeah." Todd grinned, looking at an exhibit of Doctor Doom. He eyed a statue of the Latverian dictator "Check this out, yo!" Todd pressed a button on the statue's base.

"_Curse you, Richards!_" The statue bellowed, the eyes and mouth of Doom's mask glowing when it spoke.

"Heh heh, cool." Todd grinned, looking at the buttons on the base of the statue.

"Whatcha lookin' at, Toddles?" Althea asked as she walked up to Todd.

"This exhibit of ol' Doc Doom." The amphibious mutant grinned. "These buttons, yo. You press 'em, and the statue talks!"

"Neat." Althea grinned, pressing a button.

"_Doom shall rule you all!_" The Dr. Doom statue intoned. Althea laughed.

"Ha ha, cool." The hydrokinetic pressed another button.

"_Doom shall destroy you, Richards!_"

"Man, this guy really does have an obsession with Reed Richards, doesn't he?" Althea noticed. Todd noted.

"Yeah, he does." Todd pressed another button.

"_Doom is not secretly in love with Richards!_" Both Althea and Todd's eyes widened at that statement.

"That's not an actual Doom quote, is it?" Todd blinked.

"I don't think so." Althea shook her head. "I wonder how that got in there..."

**The Baxter Building, earlier that day**

"BWA-HAHAHAHAHAHA!" Johnny Storm cackled as he sat cross-legged next to the statue of Doctor Doom. The statue was in Reed's lab. Reed had built it for the Doom exhibit, but Johnny had planned to same some secret humorous modifications. The panel with the buttons was open, revealing the wires and circuits inside. He was typing on a keypad in the statue. "This is gonna be great! This'll be awesome! Man, the looks on people's faces when they hear that quote will be priceless!" Sue then called him from another room.

"Johnny, are you messing around with that new statue?"

"No, Sue!" Johnny answered. "Geez, can't she just let me be?" The youngest member of the Fantastic Four muttered in frustration to himself as he continued to type in the keypad. "Heh heh, this is gonna be sweet..."

**The Baxter Building**, **present time**

"I have to admit, I'm puzzled, Toddles." Althea confessed.

"Maybe we should tell somebody about this, but who?" Todd scratched his head. "I mean, it's not like anyone goes up to visit the FF." The sound of whistling made the two young mutants turn around. They saw an elderly man walk across the lobby. He was a mailman, dressed in the standard blue U.S. Postal Service uniform, a mail bag slung over his shoulder.

"And here comes the latest round of fan mail..." The elderly postman remarked to himself. When Todd and Althea heard that, the two young mutants' grins widened.

"Perfect!" They whooped in unison, then ran towards the mailman, using their ninja training to make sure he didn't notice them. The elderly mailman walked towards what appeared to be a bare wall. A hidden panel opened up at the mailman's eye level, revealing a scanning device. A blue beam erupted from the device, covering the mailman.

"_Welcome, William Lumpkin._" The scanner greeted when it finished. The wall opened up, revealing an elevator. The mailman, Willy Lumpkin, walked in, and the two Misfits managed to race in before it closed.

"Oh, my!" Willy gasped.

"Hey!" Todd grinned, waving at the mailman. "How's it going?"

"Don't worry, sir." Althea smiled warmly at the elderly man. "We're just here to see the Fantastic Four. You see, me and my boyfriend here are sightseeing New York, and we wanted to see the Baxter Building. We want to meet the Fantastic Four."

**New York City, present time**

The strange green being wandered down the street, catching a crowd of on-lookers. He was quite a sight to the natives of a city that was considered one that had seen it all, a site of both triumph and tragedy alike.

"Hey, what is that?"

"It's one of those mutant guys, I think?"

"I don't think so, I think it's too ugly to be a mutant."

The being's eyes glowed, and hit a lamppost.

"Hey, what's it doing?" A bystander asked. Before the people's eyes, the lamppost the alien blasted turned into a strange plant with large purple grape-like berries on it. The alien cooed happily as it reached up and pulled down some berries. "Look at that!"

"Where did that plant come from?"

"I think that is a mutant!" One person yelled. "Somebody kill it!"

"Somebody call the cops!" An old woman yelped. The creature's eyes glowed again as it eyed a fire hydrant.

"Now what's it doing?" A hot dog vendor scratched his head. The creature's eye beams hit the hydrant, transforming it into what looked like a strange glass-like container, filled with water. The creature squealed in delight as it ran to the container, picked it up, and drank down the water. "It turned that hydrant into a drink! Man, the FD is gonna be ticked!"

_**Well, well, well! Looks like New York's gonna be rocked! What insanity will happen next? Can our heroes save the day? Will Althea and Toad meet the Fantastic Four? Can they stop the alien? Will the New Mutants be rescued from the ball of yarn? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!**_


	3. Introductions!

The Infant Terrible

**Disclaimer: "Alright, let's do the Wave!" - Master Shake, _Aqua Teen Hunger Force!_**

Chapter 3: Introductions!

**The Pit**

Lance Alvers, Xi, and Craig Starr sat on a row of chairs next to the door of Psyche-Out's office. Lila Cheney emerged from the office, shaking her head.

"Are you alright, Lila?" Xi asked the interstellar teleporter.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Lila explained. "I just had to talk with Hawk and Psyche-Out about the incident earlier today. They wanted to make sure I was alright. Besides, it's Pyro I'm worried about."

"I'm not surprised this happened." Craig scowled, crossing his arms. "He's still recovering the the infirmary from that headache. Didn't they consider what would happen?"

"I thought medicine was supposed to make sick people feel better?" Xi blinked.

"On normal people, that's true." Lance nodded. "But St. John Allerdyce is no normal person."

"Poor John." Lila shook her head. "That new medication sure did have a horrible side-effect..."

**The Pit, earlier that day**

St. John Allerdyce was on a rampage. The young mutant known as Pyro was running around the Pit, setting things on fire. The normally amiable mutant was in an unusually foul mood.

"I KNOW WHO YOU ARE!" Pyro screamed, firing his flamethrowers in the air. "YOU WAFFLE-STEALING HORSE-EATING BASTARDS WILL NEVER GET ME!"

"John, calm down!" Pietro Maximoff, Quicksilver, exclaimed as he raced up to John. Next to him was his twin sister Wanda, the Scarlet Witch, whose fists were glowing with blue energy. The telepathic triplets known as Trinity and the powerhouse Blob.

"John, do not make me have to hex you..." Wanda warned.

"NO!" John screamed. "You can't fool me! I know who you are! You're water clones sent by Kathy Bates, and you wanna kill me!" He pointed a flamethrowers at his fellow Misfits, and was about to unleash a torrent of flame at them, when...

_Thunk!_

A tranquilizer dart hit the insane Australian in the neck. The pyrokinetic percussionist removed the dart and blinked at it. A dreamy smile crossed his face.

"Hee hee hee, sleepy night-night darts..." John fell on his face and started snoring.

"Got 'im." Low Light announced. With him were the Joe psychiatrist Psyche-Out and General Hawk.

"Nice job, Low Light." Hawk nodded in satisfaction.

"Great idea giving him medication, Psyche-Out!" Pietro snapped. "Next time, consider a damn lobotomy!"

**The Baxter Building**

"Hmmm..." A tall and lanky, but physically fit man scratched his chin as he pored over an alien device. He was dressed in the same blue costume that Sue Richards was wearing, only he had on a pair of futuristic goggles on his head and a white lab coat. Reed Richards, aka Mr. Fantastic of the Fantastic Four, was studying an artifact that the Fantastic Four had found inside a meteorite that had crashed in Arizona. He then heard a buzzing.

"Mr. Richards, I have some mail for you." Willie Lumpkin's voice was heard over an intercom. Reed's face formed a smile.

"Come on in, Mr. Lumpkin." Reed pressed a button, allowing the mailman entry into his lab. With him were Althea and Todd.

"I have some mail for you, Mr. Richards." The mailman handed the stretchy scientist some mail. "Oh, and I happened to have picked up a couple of guests." He motioned to Todd and Althea, who smiled and waved.

"Hello!" Reed blinked at the two smiling mutant teenagers.

"I see..."

"Wow. Check it out, Toddles!" Althea grinned as she looked around. "Reed Richards's lab." Reed smiled at Willie.

"Thank you, Mr. Lumpkin. I'll take care of this."

"Okay, sir!" Willie smiled as he walked away. Reed looked at Althea and Todd.

"I take it you two are tourists?"

"Yeah, kinda." Todd admitted with a nod.

"We're visiting New York for the day, and we thought about seeing the Baxter Building and meeting you guys." Althea explained, before whipping out a camera. "We're from the Misfits. Wavedancer and Toad."

"Misfits?" Reed blinked for a moment. "Ah, I have heard of you from the television."

"Would you mind if we took a picture?" Althea motioned to her camera.

"I'm afraid not." Reed shook his head. He then noted Althea's sad look. "Ah, I apologize. Allow me to explain. What I meant was that I cannot allow you to take a picture here in this lab. There are some sensitive things here."

"Oh, I see. Okay." Althea nodded in understanding, putting her camera away. "I hear you. I live with GI Joe, so I know about that whole classified thing."

"Oh yeah, like the spacemmph!" Todd found Althea's hand clamped over his mouth. The hydrokinetic sighed.

"Sorry about that. I love him, but he sometimes doesn't know how to turn the mouth off." The leader of the Misfits grumbled. Reed nodded.

"I understand. Well." The stretchy scientist rubbed his hands. "How would you like to meet the rest of the Fantastic Four?"

"Aw, sweet, yo!" Todd grinned. "That'll be awesome! I'd love to see the looks on the others' faces when we tell them about this, yo!"

"Wonderful!" Reed smiled. "Come along, I will introduce you..."

"Heh heh heh..." A large bulky man, who appeared to be made of rocks, chuckled to himself as he sat on a large comfy chair, watching television. Benjamin Grimm, the Thing, grunted slightly as he rubbed his stomach.

"Ohhh..." Johnny Storm groaned as he staggered by, holding his stomach. "Oh man, the burgers hurt..." His face turned green. "Oh God, I'm gonna puke again!" He rushed towards the bathroom, making Ben chuckle.

"Lightweight." Ben chuckled, even though his stomach was slightly upset himself. He then heard Reed talking. "Huh? Who's Stretcho jawin' with?"

"And here we are in the rec room." Reed announced as he walked into the room, Todd and Althea right behind the stretchy scientist. Althea had snapped a couple pictures with her camera.

"Can I take a picture here?" Althea asked.

"Of course." Reed nodded.

"Hey cool, yo!" Todd grinned, hopping up to Ben. "The Thing!" The Fantastic Four's powerhouse pilot couldn't help but smirk at the frog-like teenager.

"Well, lookit this. Hey Reed, where'd you find these two?"

"Oh cool, the Thing!" Althea grinned. "Hey, Mr. Grimm, would you mind...?"

"Naw." Ben chuckled.

"Thanks!" Althea grinned, handing the camera to Reed. She walked up to Ben, and the two young mutants posed in front of the Thing, grinning widely.

"Say fromage." Reed smiled, aiming the camera.

"What's fromage, yo?" Todd blinked.

"Cheese." Althea explained.

"Oh."

"Cheese!"

_Click!_

"Thanks!" Althea took back her camera.

"No problem." Reed smiled. "Ben, I'd like to introduce you to Todd Tolensky and Althea Delgado. They had come to the city to sightsee, and they were hoping to meet us."

"Hey, aren't you two of those GI Joe guys?" Ben realized.

"We're in the Misfits, yeah." Althea nodded. Ben chuckled.

"Yeah, I'm a former Air Force man myself."

"Cool. You know, a branch of the Misfit team encountered Dr. Doom in Hawaii once." Althea remembered. Ben burst out laughing. **(1)**

"Oh, yeah! I remember hearing about that on the news." The Thing laughed. "That was hilarious."

"Too bad that turned out to be one of his Doombots." Sue Storm chuckled as she walked in the room.

"Oh, cool! The Invisible Woman, yo!" Todd grinned.

"Can we have your picture?" Althea asked.

"Sure." Sue smiled, and Althea took a picture. "Fans of ours?"

"Two of the Misfits." Ben explained. A loud hurling noise was heard. "And that's Johnny."

"I told him that all those burgers would make him sick." Sue sighed, shaking her head.

"That's nothing." Todd grinned. "One time, Lance, Fred, Pietro, and Pyro had a contest. They drank ipecac to see how long they could go without puking. It was hysterical!"

"I hope they don't do that regularly." Reed frowned. "Ipecac abuse can damage the heart. It also can damage the esophagus due to the acids in vomit."

"Naw, it was just that one time. They vowed never to do it again." Althea nodded. **(2)**

"Sounds like you Misfits get yourselves into some interesting little bits of disaster." Sue smirked.

"You have _no_ idea." Althea rolled her eyes. The TV suddenly blared out an alert. The five heroes turned to regard the television.

"_This is a Channel 5 Special Bulletin!"_ The newscaster announced. _"Strange phenomenon have been reported all over the city today. Central Park just sprouted large candy canes..."_

"Aw cool, yo!" Todd grinned.

"_Yancy Street is raining skunks..._"

"Ha!" Ben laughed. "I hope those punks at Yancy Street end up smellin' so bad, the whole city will toss 'em in the ocean!"

"Are you ever going to end that stupid feud?" Sue sighed.

"Never!"

"_Eyewitness reports state that this strange being is responsible."_ The newscaster explained, showing a picture of the green lifeform. "_Police have advised everyone to not provoke the creature._"

"Hmmm..." Reed frowned, rubbing his chin. "I guess it is up to us to deal with this creature."

"I'll get Johnny." Sue walked away.

"Hey, maybe we can help." Althea offered. "Toddles and I can help you guys deal with this creature."

"Al, not in public!" Todd groaned.

"I'm not sure..." Reed's frown deepened.

"Aw, let 'em help, Stretcho!" Ben shrugged. "Those kids are Joe kids. And we'll need all the help we can get."

"I suppose." Reed relented.

"Alright!" Todd and Althea whooped.

"Let's get to the Fantasticar." Ben grinned.

"You were right, Al! This is great!" Todd whooped. "We get to kick some monster butt alongside the FF, yo! The guy's ll be jealous when they hear about this!"

_**Well, well, well! Looks like things are heating up! What insanity will happen next? What is the creature exactly? Can the Fantastic Four stop it, even with Toad and Wavedancer helping? Is there a medication that works on Pyro? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!**_

**- See my old fic "Southside Days!"**

**- See "Up-Chucked".**


	4. Leap to Action!

**The Infant Terrible**

**Disclaimer: "Hey, where's that Peter Griffin? He said he'd give me a hundred bucks if I took off all of my clothes off." - Peter Griffin, _Family Guy_**

Chapter 4: Leap to Action!

**New York City**

"Check it out, yo!" Todd Tolensky, the Misfit Toad, grinned as he looked down at the city. "Man, this is so cool!"

"I can't believe it either, Todd!" Althea grinned in agreement. "We are actually in the Fantasticar!" The Fantasticar was the Fantasticar's main form of transport. Essentially made up of four airplane-esque pods that could split apart, the blue-and-white vehicle was the second version of the vehicle. The first resembled a flying bathtub, and it was only used for a brief period after the FF debuted. Todd and Althea were sitting in the back pod with Mister Fantastic, as that pod was the one most capable of carrying guests.

"It never stops being a thrill for me myself." Reed smiled at the two young mutants.

"I can imagine." Althea nodded. "So, do we know anything about this creature we heard about?"

"No, we haven't." Reed shook his head. "I've been in contact with the police, and they're unsure exactly what they are dealing with. They're barricading the Times Square area, and decided to let us deal with it."

"You know, Toddles, if this guy turns out to be a mutant, he or she'd be a great recruit for the Misfits." Althea whispered.

"Yeah." Todd nodded. He then realized something. "Wait, yo. If this thing turns out to be a mutant, you know those damned X-Geeks are gonna go after him, too."

"We'll have to keep an eye out, then." The hydrokinetic answered.

"Approaching Times Square now." Up in the front pod, Ben Grimm was piloting the Fantasticar. Before becoming the Thing, Grimm was in the United States Air Force, and was considered one of the finest men to ever sit in a cockpit. And right now, his blue eyes were narrowed.

"Whut the hell?" Ben noticed that the Fantasticar was flying towards a rather large bottle. "You guys, we got a bottle ahead!"

"A bottle?!" Sue blinked.

"Man, this is just getting weirder and weirder." Johnny shook his head.

"Is that bottle...moving?" Reed frowned.

"Flamin'-! It's heading right for us!" Johnny yelped. True to his statement, the bottle moved to the Fantasticar.

"We gotta separate!" Sue announced.

"Indeed." Reed agreed. "Prepare to-!"

"Too late!" Althea yelped. The Fantastic flew into the bottle.

"Why couldn't we be fighting Dr. Doom? He never puts us through this crazy crap." Johnny groaned, flopping forward on his console.

"Of course not, Matchstick." Ben retorted. "He only tries to maroon us on an island during the Golden Age of Piracy."

"We should worry about getting out of here." Althea reminded as the six heroes emerged from the Fantasticar.

"Not the way we came in, yo." Todd announced, examining the mouth of the bottle. "It's sealed shut."

"If this thing is airtight, then we're in big trouble." Sue frowned in thought.

"Not to worry." Reed reassured, pulling out what appeared to be a group of futuristic blue scuba tanks with large face coverings attached to them. "With these aero-tanks, we'll be able to increase the time we can stay here. Each of these tanks carries an eight-hour supply of purified air." The group took the tanks and put them on.

"You guys think of everything, don't you?" Althea grinned. "We'll have plenty of time to figure a way out of here."

"Maybe we can have Rocky over here just simply smash his way out." Johnny shrugged. "This is just a giant glass bottle."

"It is worth a try." Reed concurred.

"Heh." Ben smirked, cracking his stony knuckles. "Now yer speakin' my language, kiddo. Everybody stand back."

"Be very careful, Ben." Reed reminded his teammate as Ben cocked back his fist.

"No prob, Stretcho." Ben smirked. He threw the punch...

_**KRESH!**_

The glass bottle's side smashed wide open, allowing the group to leave the bottle.

"Hey, whaddaya know? That actually worked." Todd remarked, removing his breathing apparatus.

"Told ya." Johnny smirked cockily as he leaned on the Fantasticar, crossing his arms and making a cool pose.

"Quit clownin', Matchstick. We got business here." Ben scowled.

"I hope you guys wanted some business..." Althea pointed ahead. "Because we have plenty to deal with. Take a look at that!"

"Ho-lee..." Todd gaped.

"My God..." Sue mumbled.

Times Square had been turned into a funhouse. The center of the square itself had been turned into a maze. The many screens, instead of playing their usual endless advertisements, were now playing cartoons. Large and strange-looking stuffed animals littered the streets. The signs and streetlights were now candy canes. The area was cordoned off by the NYPD, who seemed to be dumbfounded as to what to do in this unique situation. The confused crowd reacted the way typical New Yorkers did: Loudly.

"What the hell, man?!" A pedestrian yelped, nearly running into a wall.

"Get me out of here!"

"There's a radio in my fingernail CAR!" A homeless man screamed, grabbing a stuffed animal.

"Repent! Repent! The end is nigh!" A preacher wailed.

"I gotta get to work!" A driver screamed from his car.

"When are those damn superheroes gonna do something?" A businessman grumbled as he tried to climb through a wall of stuffed animals.

"Friggin' mutants..." A woman grumbled.

"_Oh, the times they are a changin'-!_" A street entertainer sang, playing a guitar.

"Can somebody please shut that guy up?!"

"This is Obama's fault!" A woman wearing a triangular hat roared as she tried to escape the maze.

"Oh, no..." Sue mumbled.

"Great, this city has enough congestion problems." Ben grumbled. "Those damned bike lanes King Bloomberg added already raised hell."

"What kind of power could _create_ something like this?" Sue wondered.

"We have encountered several beings with great power since the formation of our group." Reed reminded. "However, this modus operandi does not seem to match any of them..."

"Worry about the who later!" Althea whipped out her staff. "Our first priority is helping these people out!"

"Indeed." Reed nodded in agreement.

"Let's get to work, yo!" Todd cheered, whipping out his own staff. The six heroes went to work. Quickly and efficiently, the group helped calm down the populace and get them out of whatever jams they were in.

"What kind of power could _create_ something like this?" Sue asked as she created a slide out of invisible force and let people slide down from a maze wall with it.

"A power that could rival Galactus, dear." Reed surmised, using his stretching powers to pluck people out of the maze.

"You know, I can't help but wonder..." Todd smirked at Althea as the two young mutants worked together to rescue a family from an upturned car. "The guys who is behind this...if we find him...maybe we can use him to prank the X-Geeks."

"Somehow, I don't think that'll be a good idea, Toddles." Althea shook her head. Johnny Storm, the Human Torch, was flying overhead, acting as a spotter. The cocky young blond man noticed something up ahead.

"What the-?!" He then realized what he was seeing. "Flaming Fireballs!"

"Whut is that thing?!" Benjamin Grimm, the Thing, blinked.

"It appears to be..." Reed blinked in amazement. The object revealed itself to be a large spinning top, green and yellow in color, and several stories tall. The oversized child's toy whirred as it spun, and Johnny noticed the top heading towards the crowd. "...a giant top."

"It's heading for the crowd!" Althea gasped in shock.

"How in the hell do we stop that thing?!" Todd groaned.

"I got it!" Johnny grinned. He streaked towards the top, a large fireball growing in his hands. Larger and larger it grew, until it reached the size of a small beach ball. "Here's the windup..." He cocked his arm back. "The pitch..."

_Fwoosh!_

Johnny pitched the fireball as hard as he could.

_Boom!_

The fireball slammed into the top, causing it to explode in a huge burst of smoke.

"Aw, yeah!" Johnny whooped, triumphantly pumping his fist. "Derek Jeter, you should just reitre now, cuz Johnny Storm is joinin' the Yankees."

"Gotta give him credit." Althea remarked to Sue. "Johnny came through."

"Yup." Sue smiled proudly. "He may be a goofball sometimes, but my little brother can really get it done sometimes." Ben narrowed his eyes at the smoke.

"Hey..." He pointed a rocky orange finger. "What's that in the smoke?"

"Huh?" Johnny looked down and saw a green robot, the size of the top, slowly walk out of the smoke. The robot was humanoid in shape, with a head that had rudimentary features. The hands only had two fingers and a thumb each. "Where'd that thing come from?"

"I got this." Ben smirked cockily as he marched towards the robot, cracking his knuckles.

"Is that a good idea?" Althea blinked.

"That's how _we_ do things." Todd shrugged.

"Ben, wait!" Sue reached for him. "Let's not do anything rash."

"Yes, Ben." Reed concurred. "Let me examine that robot! It could be booby-trapped."

"Ah, ya worry too much." The Thing chuckled, cocking back his fist. "Not much can handle my best Sunday punch! This is gonna be a beaut!" He threw the punch.

_Wham!_

"Ahhh..." Ben smiled in delight. "Now _that's_ what I call poetry!" He opened his eyes... "What the-?!" He noticed there were now two robots. "How'd _this_ happen?!"

"Now there's something ya don't see every day, yo." Todd scratched his head.

"Yup." Althea agreed.

"What gives?!" Ben roared. He punched the robot again, creating another duplicate robot.

"Ben, stop!" Reed exclaimed. "You're just making it worse!" However, the Thing was in no mood to hear his old teammate and friend's pleas. He continued punching, until he grew frustrated and gave up.

"Ah, crap..." Ben grunted as he now saw a large group of robots in the street. "I really gotta watch my temper..."

"Nice job, rocks-for-brains!" Johnny taunted. "You're a real help sometimes, pal!"

"I didn't hear _**you**_ offer any ideas, Matchstick!" Ben snapped.

"Now, what do we do?" Todd blinked. Althea frowned in thought.

"...I...I don't know."

_**Well, well, well! Looks like the problems are just going up! What insanity will happen next? Can our heroes stop the robots? Will Ben learn to watch his temper? Find out in the next chapter!**_


	5. Shocking Encounter!

**The Infant Terrible**

**Disclaimer: "And you made me spill my drink!" - Early Cuyler, _Sqiudbillies_**

Chapter 5: Shocking Encounter!

**New York City**

"Oh, man..." Todd moaned. "Al's got no ideas! It's always a problem when Al's got no ideas, yo!"

"I'll think of something, Toddles! I'll just...um..." Althea blinked at the robots. "What on Earth _are_ these things?"

"Hmmm..." Reed frowned in thought.

"Whatcha got cookin' in that big brain of yers, Stretcho?" Ben blinked. "'Cuz we sure could use some ideas right now."

"It's not much of an idea, but..." Reed mumbled, turning to a policeman at the cordon. "Captain!"

"Yes, Dr. Richards?" The police captain, a blonde woman in a SWAT uniform asked.

"I have an idea to stop those robots, Captain..."

"Conklin." The blonde woman smiled. "Captain Shelley Conklin." **1**

"Right." Reed smiled. "I need you and your men to activate every siren here and turn them up as loud as you can."

"I don't understand. What will that accomplish?" Captain Conklin blinked in confusion.

"Just do it!" Reed ordered desperately.

"Big Brain..." Ben grunted as he, Sue, Todd, and Althea backed slowly away from the robots. "...ya'd better have a plan!"

"I heard him saying something about the sirens!" Althea told the rocky powerhouse. "I think he's going to have them all go off at once."

"Aw hell, that's gonna be loud..." Ben groaned.

"Johnny!" Sue called up at her brother, who was flying over the robots. "Cover your ears!"

"Uh...okay..." A confused Johnny did what his older sister ordered. "I don't see why..."

"You heard the man, boys!" Captain Conklin ordered. "Fire the sirens up!" The policemen did so.

_**WEE-OOO! WEE-OOO! WEE-OOO! WEE-OOO! WEE-OOO!**_

"Aw Gawd!" A wincing Todd wailed. Even with his ears covered, he still felt the noise.

"This had better work!" Althea gritted her teeth.

"Stretcho, this had better be worth the ear-ringing we're gonna have to be dealin' with for the next week!"

"Reed must've had a hunch." Johnny winced as he stared at the small army of large green robots. "I hate it when he gets hunches...huh?" He noticed the robots starting to shimmer. "What in the flamin'-!"

"Hey, look!" Todd also noticed the effect. "They're..."

"They're fading." Althea realized. "The sirens are working." 

"Thank God." Sue sighed in relief.

"Excellent." Reed smiled as the robots faded away. "Just as I hoped they would." He turned back to the blonde cop. "Captain Conklin, you may stop the sirens now."

"Right." Conklin nodded. "Okay, boys! Cut it!" The sirens stopped at her command.

"Jeez." Althea grunted, cleaning out her ears. "That hurt."

"My ears are gonna ring for a week, yo..." Todd whined.

"Join the club, Froggy." Ben grumbled, shaking his head.

"Reed, why is it when you have a hunch, _everyone else_ ends up risking permanent injury?!" An aggravated Johnny yelled.

"My apologies to you all." Reed reassured as he returned to the group. "I had no intention of injuring anyone." A cop with long brown hair, shades, and a red baseball cap, dressed in a SWAT uniform, marched up to Captain Conklin.

"Man, that was something." The officer grumbled.

"I'll say, Rassitano." Conklin nodded. She looked at Reed. "Hey, Richards! You got a lot of men's ears ringing here! Good thing your plan worked."

"It was a hunch." Reed explained. "I theorized that someone was conjuring up these robots, so I decided to use the sirens' noise to disorient them."

"Gotta give ya credit, Stretcho. It worked." Ben nodded.

"He ain't jokin'!" Johnny nodded in agreement, landing on the ground and powering down. Sue looked around at the crowd, and noticed a commotion.

"What...?" The green alien creature wandered up through the crowd, making the people murmur and mumble to themselves in concern.

"What is that thing?"

"It's ugly is what it is?"

"It's gotta be a mutant. Only a mutant would be that ugly."

"It's a clown in a costume! They're a dime a dozen around here."

"Maybe it's promotion of some sci-fi show."

"That thing's a monster!"

"What...what _is_ that?" Althea blinked.

"Maybe they're promoting a new Star Trek series, yo." Todd shrugged. "Been a while since a new one's been on TV."

"I think I saw something that looked like that on Doctor Who." Johnny scratched his head.

"_You_ watch Doctor Who?" Ben snickered.

"I think Amy Pond is hot, okay? Shut up!" Johnny snapped.

"She's cute, but she may not be yer type." Ben mocked. "She got a brain."

"I'll brain you, Stoneface!" Johnny snapped.

"Guys! Stop! Not now!" Sue warned.

"This is no coincidence." Reed frowned, rubbing his chin in thought.

"Hey, look!" A man pointed at the creature as it stared at a lamppost. Its antennae started to glow. "What's it doing?"

_**FWEEEEE!**_

A pair of pink-and-white beams erupted from the creature's antennae. The beams hit the post, and a wonderous transformation occurred. In the blink of an eye, the lamppost changed into a large green vine, with purple cantaloupe-like berries sprouting from it.

"Now _that's_ one heckuva trick." An impressed Todd whistled.

"What?" Althea blinked. "It can change stuff, but it decides to make berries?"

"Yeah, it is kinda funny, babe." Todd admitted. "If I had that kinda power, I'd admit, I'd make a lot of gold. Make myself rich." A wide grin erupted on his face. "And turn the X-Geeks into action figures and sell 'em on eBay."

"Hey, Stretcho!" Ben turned to Reed. "This is our chance! If I can just grab that thing-!"

"No, Ben!" Reed shook his head. "We've have to study him a bit more! I am convinced he means no harm!"

"I have an idea." Sue smiled. "I can observe him. I'll just turn invisible."

"You sure that's a good idea, Mrs. Richards?" Althea blinked.

"Trust me." The blonde smiled.

"...Good luck, Sue. Be careful." Reed told her in concern.

"Don't worry, I always am." Sue grinned, turning invisible. The heroine slowly sneaked up towards the creature. He was now sitting cross-legged on the pavement, enjoying a shake the creature had seemingly conjured from thin air. _What is this, anyway?_ She thought to herself as a crowd started filming them. _He's just eating the shake like no big deal. What are we dealing with here?_

"Ugly monster!" A man roared, holding up a brick. "Go back to where you came from!" He pitched the brick at the creature, knocking it in the head.

"Oh, no!" Sue groaned. The man's ignorant action emboldened several others, and they started throwing objects at the alien. Sue was forced to make herself visible. "Wait! Everyone stop!" The creature roared in pain.

_**FWASH!**_

The creature fired a pair of beams from its antennae. The beams sent the crowd onto roofs.

"That's it!" Ben snapped. "I'm gonna-!"

"I got this, Thing!" Althea reassured, using her staff to knock the top off a fire hydrant. "Maybe a dousing will cool his temper!" Using her mutant power of hydrokinesis, Althea commanded the water to form a wave to come down on the creature. It noticed the wave coming towards it, and used its antennae beams to turn the wave from water into...

"Well, lookit that!" Johnny chuckled.

"My wave's turned into green Jello!" Althea's jaw dropped. Todd hopped over to the wave and took a bite out of it.

"Mmm..." Todd licked his lips in approval. "Hey, it's lime-flavored!"

_Gotta calm him down!_ Sue reminded herself. "Uh...it's okay! It's okay!" The blonde tried to soothe the alien. "Nobody's going to hurt you anymore. You need to-!" The alien roared and fired his beams at the sky. "What is he doing?!"

"Aw, hell. This can't be good." Ben groaned.

"Flame on!" Johnny powered up. "I'll fly on up and take a look at what he's doing!" He took off and squinted at the sky. He saw a couple points of light that seemed to grow larger... "Flamin' fireballs!"

"Oh, dear..." Reed looked up at where Johnny was pointing with a pair of futuristic blue binoculars. "Oh, no!"

"What is it?!" Ben blinked.

"...METEORS!" Johnny yelled as the large rocks came tumbling down towards Earth.

"YEOW!" The six heroes yelped as they dodged the small rocks. Thankfully, most of the rocks' mass was burned away by their traveling through the atmosphere. All that were left of most of them were space stones around the size of basketballs.

"Sue!" Reed stretched and pulled Sue out of the path of one.

"Thanks, Reed!" Sue smiled gratefully.

"Yi! Whoa!" Todd flipped out of the way of one of the meteors. "This ain't cool, yo! I didn't come to New York to see this!"

"No kidding, Toddles." Althea agreed, pole vaulting away from another meteor with the aid of her staff. "We shouldn't be surprised, though. Can't even take a damned vacation without some problem erupting!"

"Join the club, kid." Ben grumbled as his rocky fists broke up a meteor. A very large one started to fall towards the Thing. The rocky powerhouse turned around, and his blue eyes widened.

"I got it!" Johnny whooped, pitching a fireball at the meteor.

_**KABOOM!**_

The fireball managed to destroy the meteor.

"Ha!" Johnny whooped with a cocky grin. "Once again, ol' Johnny Storm saves the day!"

"Watch that ego, Matchstick." Ben warned. "One day, it'll write a check your butt can't cash if you don't."

"Yeah, yeah..." Johnny laughed, until he noticed that the street was deserted. "Hey, where'd everybody go? I was hoping someone filmed that awesome save I pulled."

"Probably ran for cover." Althea deduced, looking around. "Good. We can do our jobs easier if we don't have to worry about innocents being hurt."

"That creature's vanished as well." Sue realized. "What _was_ that thing, anyway?"

"I do not know." Reed shook his head. "I wish I had a chance to study it. We could learn why it was behaving in such a childish..." A light bulb went off in Reed's head. "Of course! It makes sense now! The creature must've been an infant!"

"Wait!" Todd's jaw dropped. "You mean we were fighting a big _baby?!_"

"It makes sense!" Althea realized. "Look at the things the creature created! Candy, stuffed animals, all things very young kids like! I have two baby brothers myself! Why didn't I see it?!"

"Oy gevalt..." Ben pinched the bridge of his nose. "I got a feeling we're going to get a lot more headaches..."

**Some time later**

"_...The Fantastic Four have reason to believe that the creature that was sighted in Times Square earlier was in fact a child too young to understand the consequences of his actions. As such, authorities are warning the public that the creature is still dangerous, and to do nothing to antagonize it._" The newscaster announced on the large high-definition television.

"Hmmm..." The watcher of the television, a skinny man with a brunet widow's peak and pencil mustache, dressed in a dark green suit with a yellow shirt and no tie, rubbed his chin. "This is interesting. I think I got me a little idea." He pulled a cell phone out of his pocket and made a call. "Winston? Yeah, get the boys together. Big Joe got himself a plan! You know that creature that's been on the news? Well, he's just what the doctor ordered!"

_**Well, well, well! Looks like business is about to pick up! What insanity will happen next? Can our heroes save the day? What are Big Joe's plans for the creature? Will Todd and Althea get to enjoy New York quietly and like normal tourists? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!**_

**1 – Shelley Conklin first appeared in Thor (Vol. 1) #426 (cover dated November 1990)**


	6. Mob Capture!

**The Infant Terrible**

**Disclaimer: "Why do I gotta do that?!" - The Angry Video Game Nerd**

Chapter 6: Mob Capture!

**New York City**

A sleek black car drove through the streets. To be exact, this car was a black Aston Martin Vanquish. Inside were a group of men, dressed in nice suits. The men also wore hats that matched their suits.

"Alright, fellas." The driver, a man in a brown trilby and suit, spoke up as the car drove down the street. "You remember the instructions the boss gave us?"

"Yeah, we remember." The man in the passenger seat, clad in a dark green suit and fedora nodded as he looked at a shopping bag he had in his lap. "Are you sure you sure this is gonna work?"

"You sayin' that Big Joe don't know what he's doing?" Brown Trilby frowned.

"Naw, man! I'm just sayin' that we don't really know if this thing'll like these things." Green Fedora pulled out a large Hershey chocolate bar from the shopping bag. "I mean, what if chocolate's toxic to this thing, like dogs?"

"Well, I didn't see _you_ coming up with better ideas, buddy!" Brown Trilby snapped.

"Hey, come on!" A third man, wearing a dark blue suit with a matching flat cap, held up his hands. "Let's focus, huh? Remember, Big Joe said this thing can make us all rich."

"But first, we gotta find it." A fourth man, dressed in a black suit with a matching fedora, reminded. Meanwhile, a group of people were gathered around an electronics store window. The window had a television in the display, and it was tuned to the news.

"_The Fantastic Four wish to advise the community that the alien creature is likely the equivalent of a small child, so it is highly advised to stay calm and not try to antagonize the creature in any way."_ The newscaster on the screen relayed.

"Aw, it's all a hoax!" One man scoffed. "The FF is trying some publicity stunt."

"I was there in Times Square." A teenager scowled. "It was no stunt. Got the action on my phone."

"I'll bet this alien is a really some rampaging mutant." A woman crinkled her nose. "That's what they do, you know. Go wild and attack anything that moves. Like those X-Men."

"An alien baby." Another woman shook her head. "Now I've heard everything." Unbeknownst to the group of people, the alien was wandering towards them. "But then again, since the Fantastic Four are involved, this kind of thing would be right up their alley."

"_Police have revealed this image of the creature."_ The newscaster continued. The television then showed an image of the creature, created from a frame of video. _"If this creature is spotted, please leave the area and contact the Fantastic Four immediately."_

"Whoof, that thing is ugly." A man whistled.

"It's an alien from another planet, man. What'd you expect it to look like, Kim Basinger?" The teenager laughed.

"I still think it's just a mutant being a mutant." The second woman shook her head. The teenager turned his head and saw the alien.

"Holy cow, there it is!" The teenager yelped. The group turned and saw the alien wander towards them. "Whoa!"

"That thing _is_ ugly." The man whispered.

"Let's just leave." One of the women suggested. "They did say not to antagonize him."

"Screw that!" The second woman snapped. "I'm not afraid of no mutant!" She started yelling at it as the teenager started calling the Fantastic Four. "Yeah, you heard me, you stupid mutie!" She screamed at the alien. "You think that because you look like that, you can do whatever you want? You think you're better than us! I oughta teach you ow to respect _decent_ people, you MMPH!" The first woman clamped her mouth over the ranting mutant-hater.

"Geez, shut up!" The woman snapped.

"I just notified the Fantastic Four!" The teenager announced.

"Then let's do what the TV reporter said and get out of here!" The man told the group. The group slowly left, leaving the alien creature standing there, blinking in confusion.

"Okay, there it is!" Blue Cap pointed out the windshield.

"Let's go slow, then." Brown Trilby slowly drove the car up to the creature.

"Urh?" The alien cocked its head at the car.

"Everybody get out slowly, and don't do anything threatening." Brown Trilby ordered. The four gangsters emerged from the car slowly. "Hey there, little guy." The gangster smiled at the alien creature. "You want some nice candy?" The green alien perked up. "Show him the candy bar!" He hissed at Green Fedora.

"Oh, right!" Green Fedora reached into his shopping bag and pulled out the large Hershey Bar. "Yeah, little guy! Look! Chocolate bar! Yummy chocolate bar!"

"Ahhhh!" The creature hopped up and down in delight, licking its lips.

"Unwrap it, stupid!" Brown Trilby hissed.

"Oh, right!" Green Fedora carefully opened up the chocolate bar and held it out to the alien.

"Ahhhhh!" The alien whooped in delight as it toddled towards the candy bar.

"Whaddaya know, it's workin'." Green Fedora blinked in amazement.

"See?" Brown Trilby smirked. "Big Joe knows what he's talkin' about?"

**The Baxter Building**

The Fantastic Four and the Misfits' Wavedancer and Toad had made their way back to the Baxter Building to come up with a new plan.

"This is nuts." Althea sighed, leaning back on her armchair. "This is really nuts."

"Gotta admit, yo." Todd grinned, deciding to take the opportunity for some rest by reading something on his iPad, absentmindedly twirling a four-pointed shuriken over his fingers. "At least our adventures are never boring. You know, next time, we should go to Japan. They got that awesome Ninja Museum."

"Yeah, in Iga." Althea remembered thoughtfully. "I always wanted to go there..." She shook the thought out of her head. "Toddles, focus. We got bigger problems right now."

"Yeah." Benjamin Grimm, the Thing, nodded in agreement, looking back at the kids from his television. "An alien baby that can do damn near anythin'. And I thought Doom was a pain."

"That's precisely why we should be out there searching for this thing, Mr. Grimm." Althea countered. "Who knows what damage that alien is doing out there?"

"Hey, don't look at me!" Johnny Storm yelped, peeking up from his iPad. "I'm actually _doing_ something to help!"

"What? Did you manage to plant a tracker of some sort?" Althea wondered. Johnny blinked.

"Uh, no." The young hothead admitted. "I made people aware on my Facebook and Twitter accounts." He grinned widely. "If people spot it, they'll let me know." Althea's jaw dropped and Ben burst out laughing.

"Oh, that's a good one, Matchstick!" Ben laughed out loud. "That's a really good idea! Wait for all the kooks to put up wacky 'sightings' on yer page!" Althea took Johnny's iPad and read a tweet.

"This tweet claims that they spotted the alien in another dimension!" The aquakinetic yelled.

"Hey, with what that thing could do, it's a possibility!" Johnny yelped.

"I gotta say, I'm with the match-head on this one, yo." Todd nodded. "We've seen what that thing can do, Al. Who's to say that it can't go to other dimensions?" Althea sighed.

"That thing is essentially a toddler, Toddles." Althea reminded.

"Toddles?!" Johnny burst out laughing, making Todd glare at the cocky pyrokinetic. "Oh, that's just adorable!"

"Allllll..." Todd groaned.

"She is right to be concerned, Jonathan." Reed Richards admonished as he and Sue walked into the room, unknowingly saving Toad from further embarrassment. "This child is young, but his power is potentially immeasurable."

"So you're saying that he could do a lot of damage." Johnny realized.

"Oh, yes." Sue nodded with a sigh.

"Indeed." Reed concurred.

"What..._kind_ of damage are we talking about?" Althea blinked.

"Well, we have no idea of the limits of his power." Sue explained. "We have no way of measuring it."

"He has the potential to cause catastrophic levels of damage." Reed added. "He has the potential to alter the very landscape of the cosmos. Imagine if, in a moment of playfulness or childish temper, he moves Earth away from its orbit around the sun, or he moves the sun away from the Earth. Such an action could doom all like on this planet."

"My God..." Ben Grimm's jaw dropped.

"Yeah, but just because he _might_ be able to do that doesn't mean he _can._" Althea countered. "Doesn't he have to be _aware_ he's causing damage in order to do that?" The Misfit leader shook her head.

"Al, yo, remember when Claudius accidentally scratched Pietro's leg?" Todd reminded.

"Claudius?" Reed blinked.

"My baby brother." Althea explained. "He's got a seal-like mutation. He recently developed these flexible claws. He uses them like fingers."

"They're sharp, too." Todd explained. "He's scratched up quite a lot of people on accident. It's a minor example, but it's generally what Stretch here is saying. He's not _aware_ he's hurting anyone because he's so young."

"Ah, I see what you mean." Althea nodded in understanding. "So we should find him and help him learn this."

"Indeed." Reed concurred. He looked down at his gloved right hand when he heard a beeping. He pressed a button on the glove. The glove then projected a three-dimensional image of Roberta, the FF's robotic secretary. "Yes, Roberta?"

"_I just got a call from a civilian. We have a confirmed sighting of the alien._" She reported. "_I have sent the coordinates to the Fantasticar._"

"Right. Thank you, Roberta."

"Well, then." Althea grinned. "Let's go get an alien!"

_**Well, well, well! Looks like the action is about to kick up! What insanity will happen next? What were those men's plans for the alien? Can our heroes find it and save the day? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!**_


	7. Gangsters and Aliens!

**The Infant Terrible!**

"**I'm the Nostalgia Critic, and I remember it, so you don't have to!" - Doug Walker as The Nostalgia Critic**

Chapter 7: Gangsters and Aliens!

**The Baxter Building**

"Let's go get an alien!" Althea grinned.

"Yeah, yo!" Todd whooped. "I also want pictures of it to show the guys!"

"Hang on, kids." Sue shook her head. "Roberta, where exactly has the alien been spotted?" Roberta gave the location. "Great!"

"Alright, some action!" Johnny whooped, leaping out of his seat in delight. "About time is all I can say about that!"

"Heh heh." Ben chuckled. "Been wantin' another piece of that lime-faced critter."

"Indeed." Reed nodded. "You will have to engage the alien without me."

"Hey, what?" Johnny blinked.

"Yo Prof, you just gonna sit this out?" Todd blinked. "That ain't fair, yo!"

"Yeah!" Althea agreed. "We're going out fighting this thing, so should you!"

"Take it easy, kids." Sue reassured. "Reed isn't simply going to sit this one out."

"Yeah." Ben nodded. "He normally doesn't cut out on people."

"Indeed." Reed walked towards his lab. "While you try to go keep the creature from doing any more damage, I will attempt to find a way to contact the alien's parents."

"His parents." Johnny scoffed. "Yeah, that'll be good for a few laughs."

"It does make sense, in a bizarre way." Althea shrugged. "That thing is a kid. It's gotta have parents that're looking for him."

"But how can we call them?" Ben scratched his head. "It ain't like the kid had a note on it that said 'Call this number if ya find me'."

"No offense, Prof, but are you sure you know what you are doing?" Todd blinked. "How you gonna call that thing's mom and dad? How do you know that thing HAS a mom and dad?"

"We will not know unless we attempt to make contact." Reed explained. "I have some ideas, based on other alien species communicate. I will contact you all when I have made contact."

"Right, then." Sue nodded. "Okay, everyone. Time to track our little alien kid!"

**A field in New York**

Big Joe emerged from the driver's seat of his car.

"Alright..." The crime boss muttered to himself, looking at his watch. "Where are those boys and the alien? I told them to meet me here, and..." He heard the noise of a car pulling up. "Ah, there they are. Right on time."

"We're here, boss!" Brown Trilby announced as he and the other four gangsters emerged from the car, the alien creature with them, happily munching on a large Hershey Bar.

"Sorry we're late, boss." Green Fedora apologized. "We had to stop at a store. The thing over there loves those big Hershey bars."

"It's alright." Big Joe nodded in understanding. He then marched over to the alien and smiled at it. "Hello, little guy."

"Mm?" The alien blinked at Big Joe.

"My name is Joe." Big Joe spoke in a soothing voice to the creature. "I heard that you can do stuff. Lots of stuff."

"Times Square can certainly attest to that." Black Fedora snickered, making the other gangsters chuckle.

"Now, I want to know if you can do something for me." Big Joe showed the alien a photograph. "This is an armored car. Can you make one appear for me?"

"Uh, boss?" Brown Trilby piped up. "How do we know it can do that?"

"Yeah." Blue Cap nodded in agreement. "I mean, yeah, this thing's been seen changing things into other things, but that doesn't mean it can make things magically appear. I mean, it's an alien, not a magician."

"Maybe it's an alien magician." Green Fedora shrugged.

"An alien magician?" Black Fedora frowned.

"Yeah, why not?" Green Fedora continued.

"An alien. Magician." Black Fedora repeated.

"Yeah! What, you sayin' aliens can't be magicians?"

"It just sounds...stupid." Black Fedora shook his head.

"We got this green guy standing right here in front of us eating a Hershey Bar, and you're saying aliens can't be magicians?" Green Fedora yelped. Brown Trilby started snickering and Blue Cap rolled his eyes.

"Here we go again..."

"Oh, you have got to be kidding me." Big Joe groaned, facepalming in disbelief.

"That's stupid!" Black Fedora snapped. "Why the hell would an alien need magic? They have rayguns and spaceships and computers!"

"What if the alien doesn't have advanced technology?" Green Fedora countered. "You can't expect every planet to have spaceships and lasers!"

"I can't believe this." Big Joe groaned. "I just can't believe they're doing this now. Now of all times..." The alien creature only giggled. The gangster sighed, glancing at the green alien. "At least _he's_ being entertained."

"Oh, this'll be hilarious. Their arguments always are." Blue Cap chuckled as he and Brown Trilby watched Green and Black Fedora argue.

"Wish I had some popcorn right now." Brown Trilby agreed.

"That is BULL!" Black Fedora roared. "I've read all of the _John Carter_ stuff, and I'm telling ya, there's no alien sorcerers in it!"

"Tell that to all of the fanfic writers!" Green Fedora roared back.

"Ah, I'd better stop this before it gets ugly...well, uglier than it already is." Big Joe sighed. He walked up to the two gangsters, grabbed their heads, and knocked them together.

_**Whack!**_

"OW!" The two men yelped, holding their heads.

"What was _that_ for, boss?!" Black Fedora groaned.

"That really hurt!" Green Fedora whined.

"Heh heh, that was hilarious." Brown Trilby snickered, putting away his camera phone.

"You ain't gonna upload that thing on those video sites, are you?" Blue Cap frowned.

"And give the cops evidence on a silver platter? Hell, no!" Brown Trilby shook his head. "Shame, though. I imagine some of the videos would be viral hits."

"You two clowns done?!" Big Joe scowled at his two henchmen.

"Yeah, we're done, boss." Green Fedora winced under his boss's glare.

"We're good, boss. We're good now." Black Fedora nodded.

"Alright, good." Big Joe nodded in satisfaction. The crimelord turned towards the alien.

"Okay, greenie." The gangster smiled. "I want to show you a picture." He pulled a photograph out from his jacket. "This is called an armored car."

"Rrrii!" The alien nodded.

"Right!" Big Joe smiled. "Now, we are going to play a little game. Can you make one of these appear?"

"Weeee!" The alien nodded. He concentrated, and a beam of light erupted from his tentacles.

**In front of a bank**

An armored truck full of money drove up towards a bank.

"Ah, another day, another uneventful delivery of money." The driver, a gray-haired burly guard, smiled as he and a younger guard pulled up towards the bank.

"Yeah." The younger guard chuckled. "You'd think by now, somebody would try and swipe this cash." He remarked as the two left the truck.

"Don't jinx it, kid." The elder guard glared. "I've gone 25 years, my whole career, without anyone trying to steal money from the truck, and I don't need you tempting fate."

"Okay, okay!" The younger guard grinned, holding up his hands. "Pax, pax!"

"Yeah, sure." The older guard chuckled as the two walked to the back of the truck. "Well, another day, another dollar."

"Or a buncha dollars, in this case! Ha ha!" The young guard laughed.

_**FWOOMMMM!**_

"What the-?!" The young guard gasped as the truck was bathed in a bright pink light.

"The hell is that?!" The older guard blinked.

"Hey old man, you ever seen _Close Encounters of the Third Kind_?"

"Kid, I saw it when it was in the theater!"

"Well, I think aliens are taking it." The young guard noted as he pointed at the armored truck, which was starting to hover within the beam.

"You gotta be kidding me!" The elder guard gaped as he watched the armored truck fly away.

"Well, what do we do?" The younger guard blinked in confusion. The elder guard smirked.

"We call the Fantastic Four."

"The Fantastic Four?!" The young guard threw his hands up. "Really?! Why can't we just call the frikkin' cops?!"

"Kid, you must be new in town." The elder guard chuckled. "Here, there's a rule: You get robbed, call the cops. Aliens invade, call the Avengers. Weird stuff like this...you call the FF."

_**Well, well, well! Looks like things are heating up! What insanity will happen next? Will the gangsters pull off more crimes with the alien? Can our heroes find the alien and save the day? Find out in the next chapter!**_


End file.
